-
When I was 19 I had a child
with my first boyfriend as a result of my first sexual experience. Our
parents who were from different sides of the track and who were RC on both
sides decided that we couldn't marry and they intervened in such a way
that we couldn't.
I was in nurses training and
at risk of being expelled if I kept my child so I gave him up for
adoption. At age 21 he found me again. I was then in a second marriage to
a very unemotional and controlling man. I went on to have a total mental
breakdown and was hospitalised for 2 weeks. When I came home the locks
were changed and the marriage was over.
I bought an apartment and
settled down on the coast a good way from where I had been with my husband
but still near the sea that I loved. My son went on to find his father. He
also told me that his father (my first boyfriend) was in the middle of
getting a divorce. Over time and a lot of letters and E-mails it
became apparent his soon to be ex-wife had experienced a distinct
personality change and refused counselling or investigation along medical
lines.
I moved inland to where my
aging parents, my son, my 5 siblings and my "old" boyfriend lived. Right
from the first it was as if we had never parted. We moved in
together to see how things would work. His two teenage step children
came to us every other weekend.
After a year his soon to be
ex and the children's mother was diagnosed with a brain tumour.
After the most stressful 13 months I think either of us had ever been
through she died and I suddenly had two teenage step children. I am 58
years old and this happened 2 and a half years ago.
I find the situation very
difficult even though they are pretty good kids for teenagers ... so I am
told. The boy has ADHD and when he is off his meds in the evenings he is
so difficult to be around. The girl twists her dad around her little
finger. He is 17 and she is 18.
I am angry and tired a lot.
I am so afraid of another breakdown but have so far been OK on my
medications. I just have this temper and sometimes I don't know where it
comes from. I don't want the kids to hate me and yet I know they don't
like me very much. My husband and I we married 1 and a half years ago is
very good to me very supportive when he is here and I have no doubt he
loves me. He is at work incredible hours and we don't have much money.
