My fiancé and I have
been together a couple of years, we are getting married later this year
and his divorce should be finalised in a few months. He has 2 kids from
previous marriage. The ex-wife (whom i shall refer to as the Devil Woman)
loathes and despises me with a passion and she has been a screaming
banshee as long as we have been together. In the beginning I put up with a
lot of nasty phone calls and abusive texts from her - most of which I
ignored with a dignified silence. However on a few occasions I did
retaliate with short, sharp warnings that she ought not to push me too
far, which did make her back-off for a little while. My fiancé puts up
with as much abuse from her, but did pander to her in the beginning as he
was still trying to sort out access arrangements to see the kids.
She constantly uses the kids
against him, twisting their little minds against their dad and me. So much
so that when the kids met me for the first time (about 6 months into our
relationship) they had clearly been told not to like me & not to talk to
me. They are great now when they come to visit us every weekend. We make
sure they have a lot of fun, but we know they keep their 2 lives totally
separate as they are unwilling to take any toys we buy them home to their
mothers house and we don't think they ever tell her what they have done or
places they have gone when they have been with us. She is now living with
a new man and is pregnant to him, but still she never lets up with her
vicious ways and nasty remarks. My fiancé and I try so hard to be
civilised with her for the sake of the children of course, but she throws
it back in our faces every time.
She screams blue murder if I am
even outside in our car when we drop the kids back at her house. Yet on
Christmas day, when her new partner offered to drop the kids at ours for a
few hours, she turned up with him, invited herself into my house, used my
bathroom and had the cheek to stand in my hallway making useless
conversation & trying to look like Mother-bloody- Teresa! Did i have a say
about whether i wanted HER in MY home?
She sends a change of clothes with
the kids each time they visit us, even though we have a wardrobe full of
new clothes for them. Often the clothes she sends are old and tatty, or
inappropriate for the weather (ie: t-shirts in the winter). But if we try
to put the kids in our clothes, they get anxious and say that "mummy said
we were to wear our own clothes". So we end up changing them twice, back
into their old clothes before they go home, just so the kids feel better
that she doesn't know they were wearing their new clothes.
My fiancé is at his wits end with
her too, he pays a huge amount of monthly maintenance that she demanded
and he only communicates with her if it about arrangements for the kids.
We are hoping that when she has her new baby later this year, it might
leave her too busy to hassle us anymore.
Of course now that we have a
wedding date later this year, she has just gone completely into orbit!!! I
am sure there will be more dramas before our wedding, no doubt she will
dream up some schemes to try to muck things up, delaying the paperwork for
the divorce or stopping the kids from coming. The thing is I can now
predict everything she does - I just expect the worst from her and she
lives up to it every time! I just long for the day when I can tell her to
naff-off and leave me and my husband alone (my husband NOT hers anymore)!
But for now all I can foresee is having to put up with her for another 10
years until the kids are old enough to make their own arrangements to
visit us.
Reassuring though that so many
other second wives are in the same predicament so I am so glad I found The
BSWC ~ what a great club!!!!
