I, like many other
women, nursed my partner through a very bitter divorce. Although his
ex-wife ended the marriage, she found it very difficult to accept him
moving on and was very abusive, both verbally and physically to me during
that time.
My partner agreed to a very
generous settlement with regards to child maintenance as my three
step-children had a fabulous nanny who had been with them all since birth.
(Both parents had very good jobs). A couple of months after the final
papers, the nanny was unceremoniously sacked and the unemployed boyfriend
was moved in to the house to take her place.
When my partner went back to the
courts in an attempt to reduce his payments for this reason, and because
we then had a baby and I had been made redundant at the end of my
maternity leave, she used as much money as she needed to contest. As she
had saved a considerable amount, (what with not having a nanny to pay
for!) she was able to let her lawyers litigate freely until my partner ran
out of funds.
I have found that we are not
allowed benefits as maintenance payments are not taken into consideration
by the benefits office when income is calculated. This is a hardship for
us, but I'd imagine, is crippling for second families who are harder up
than ourselves.
The legal system badly needs
reforming. The bias against fathers is shameful and the CSA is a joke.
Being a second wife is a huge disadvantage to a woman.
